Proverbs 18:2 states “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
I’m not a religious guy but I heard this Bible passage recently and immediately thought of the litany of misinformation and poor demeanor that I have seen posted ad nauseam on film photography forums for the last 20 years. I’ve tried to chisel away at some of the bullshit with responses to these posts as well as dedicated blogs but thought it was about time to draft a singular doctrine.
And remember, I am not God. But I do talk to the Great Yellow God. And I may just be a fool myself. But here goes…
1–Thou shalt not hoard cameras or lenses. Bestow excess equipment upon those who may resurrect it.
2—-Thou shalt not use cameras or lenses that have not been professionally cleaned, lubed and adjusted. Love is a verb, not a noun.
3–Thou shalt not hoard film that is still in production. Thou shall buy fresh film and shoot and process in a timely fashion.
4–Thou shalt not avoid hand-checking thy film at airports and other security check-points, no matter the ISO.
5–Thou shalt not blame thy tools. Seek to improve thyself, not thy equipment.
6–Thou shalt not mock young brothers or sisters for their style or self-righteousness no matter how seemingly misguided or uninformed. Hipsters are people too.
7–Thou shalt not alienate brothers and sisters who do not kneel at the altar of the Darkroom. Remember, Virgin Mary Adobe gave birth to Jesus Christ Photoshop for the love of film.
8–Thou shalt not criticize adherents of brands of camera and lens of which thou are not an adherent. You know that you secretly wish for Leica.
9–Thou shalt not speaketh non-factual bullshit about digital photography. It’s not 2001 anymore, digital cameras no longer suck.
10–Thou shalt not post more photos of thy film camera than photos from thy film camera unless photos of thy film camera were taken with thy other film camera.
Well, the Great Yellow God has spoken through me! Did He leave anything out? What do you think? You wanna start a religion? Have we already?
Thanks for reading, and please, let’s be good to each other!
Follow, Favorite, Like, Add, Contact Johnny Martyr